Beginners

Why is it so scary and frustrating for adults to be beginners? I am guilty as well. I won’t want to try new things because I don’t want to look like an idiot. I choose to do familiar things to look “smart” or to be “the guy who knows his stuff”.

I was that guy before the mandatory military service as a mechanic(I never fixed cars before), being a dad, immigration to another country, changing my career path, and joining another company recently. There had been a lot of frustration, fear, tears, anger. I felt like I know nothing every early stage of those events. Relearning was something I would like to avoid. Why would I bother when my life is good while stuck at something familiar?

As a person who hates mistakes, it’s still hard to deal with them. For example, if I were making a new dish, I would read the recipe at least 3 times, mentally draw my path in the kitchen to be efficient and prepare ingredients in such an order so that I clean the chopping board once “in my head”. This is only the mental prep to prevent mistakes and to be an efficient cook. Then I will get ingredients and kitchenware ready and begin cooking after I have prepared mentally.

My wife lived very different life. She and I have a huge gap when it comes to experiences in our lives. I wouldn’t say which is bad but we are still learning from each other, get rid of bad habits, work on our weaknesses. After 10 years, I learnt from her it’s ok not to be good at something. I thought this woman is an idiot. How can it be ok when we are parents and we are supposed to be the role models? If we aren’t good, what would our kids learn from us?

After those big life events, I finally got what she meant. She meant that it’s ok to be suck at something. Just go for it and make mistakes. You will learn a few things.

I thought I knew stuff at my previous company. After working for the new company, I realized I don’t know my shit. This was actually what I was looking for. Feeling like a noob again, but enjoying failures at the same time.